You're Not Sorry

Hey Miss Samantha,

I have to vent to someone. Today has been a really difficult day. And I don't know why...

In 2004, I went on a family vacay to a hot beach and while I was there I met a boy. This boy was amazing. Everything about him is fantastic. He's incredibly brilliant, so breathtakingly handsome, and ridiculously funny - and you know how that gets me. We spent every one of those 7 days together. On the last night that we were there, which happened to be the night before New Years, him and I sat underneath the stars and talked for hours. It was honestly movie-like and I was in heaven... it was perfect.

After the vacation, we kept in contact via email and messaging, since he lives across the country. We kept talking about one day being together again and going on another trip together and when it would be possible to see each other next. We both went through boyfriends and girlfriends, yet still caught up with each other every couple months. Last November, I contacted him again and once again we went back to talking like no time had been lost. Everything just works with him. In December, he sent me flowers telling me how much he missed me and that we would be able to see each other soon. In February, he had a medical school interview in the city and it would finally be a chance for us to see each other again... after 5 years.

The only thing standing in our way was his girlfriend. She began to limit his communication with me, she read all of our emails, our texts and told him he couldn't speak to me anymore. She made him block me on his facebook. I couldn't send him emails because I knew they would be intercepted by her. When he got to the city, he called me anyways and we had dinner at a really fancy place downtown. After dinner when we walked back to my car, he kissed me. I was so caught off guard, and I just melted.

We spent an awesome night together and I won't forget it. When he went back to the other side of the country, he told me that everything that happened was awesome, but he was still with his girlfriend and he stopped talking to me again. I haven't spoken to him since March. I can't stop thinking about him. I know he chose to go to a med school out east instead of out here, but I want to know how he is. I don't have his email address anymore since he moved from his old school and I'm sure that girlfriend still checks his hotmail. I can't facebook him. I just want to talk to him. I want to know how he is. I want to tell him I miss him. Is that crazy? He's just been on my mind so much. But he hurt me... so why do I care? I still think he is perfect for me.

On a less serious note, Bartender wants me to meet one of his friends, ProFootball Player. That'd be hot. :)

Talk soon,

xoxo Carrie